In honor of Women’s Month, like I said, I’ll be doing little features daily of some amazing women, & self love is the best love so I’m starting with me.
Thank you for your questions!
How do you approach networking?
I’ve always been very shy. If you’ve ever met me out you’d never know that, and you know why? I don’t do small talk and I gravitate towards where my energy is drawn. This helps me in terms of not faking connections and not making superficial connections. Lately I’ve given up “networking” all together in lieu of being present. I’ve learned that giving takes you a lot farther than merely taking. Merely chasing “clout” as we love to say now a days won’t do too much for your longevity. I generally don’t leave the house unless it will be edifying for my soul. Photo ops and lit stories are just not helping when I wake up on Sunday at noon with no motivation.
What do you like most about what you’re doing career wise and how far would you like to take it?
Well as a teacher, that career has the quickest return on investment. I get to see the impact I’m making in little ways everyday. As far as design and writing, I’m moving towards archival accomplishments. Its not about big brands and a big following for me. When I was in high school, I decided I would have a Nobel laureate prize to my name. Thats going to take a lot of work, dedication, and innovative thinking.
How do you as a woman feel about men entering the blogosphere, a seemingly female dominated space? Do they deserve a space?
I think to be upset about something like that would have to mean that I had a sense of entitlement to the space and I don’t believe in entitlement. The answer is never segregation, its respect. Blogging gave women new opportunities to be their own bosses and to challenge that wage gap. If men want to join, i’m all for it as long as the respect is there. I think theres room for us all to flourish. I can’t model Hugo Boss suits lol.
What can men contribute to the conversations you crafted about romance and all types of love ? Or are you only speaking to females.
NEVER. The first step toward change is INCLUSION not alienation. It is vital for me to understand all parts in order to grow and in order to inspire growth. I enjoy discussing my book and posts on love with men so so much and its been really inspiring. Some of them do have pretty good heads on their shoulders and if these convos were more widespread, it would be so helpful.
What is your version of success?
Freedom. Not just financially. Because I can go into freelancing full time and still be a slave to some creative directors vision. I want to be 100% free to create, roam, and spend as I please away from the public eye.
So I knew I wanted to dedicate a post to myself and my progress for women’s month as well, although I wasn’t sure what to focus on. But I’m working on a logo for a client and she mentioned her zodiac, and of course there are no coincidences so it reminded me of a song I used to love, “Gemini feed” by Banks, which led me to remember I was banging that song around this time last year, a completely different person.
This time last year, I was on the verge of break up. We weren’t completely broken up but I was beginning to find myself spending more time trying to salvage what we had rather than elevating myself. At the time, the relationship was so developed, I figured it was part of commitment and growing together, when things aren’t going right you don’t necessarily just give up, right?
But today I understand things differently. (And I gained my weight back hannnn s/o to my bootyyy & happy weight) All my life I had been all too willing to make sacrifices for love and to gamble on love, yet never on myself.. Never able to leave my comfort zone for my dreams.
I was still “making moves” but in my eyes, it was the bare minimum. I was shooting if requested, showing face at event, and working on personal projects but my momentum wasn’t at its highest. My main focus was spending time with my partner and nurturing that relationship.
Its crazy what I’ve learned in this short span of time. Thinking of Gemini Feed prompted me to listen to the album and I found myself crying for the first time in months yesterday as I sang these lyrics:
“Bet I look amusing ’cause my addiction to
These contradictions make it confusing
And if I walk away I’m scared I won’t find other muses
‘Cause I know you like olden days
I don’t understand, you claim that I’m a handful
When you show up all empty-handed
The way you say you love me
Like you’ve just been reprimanded
‘Cause I know you like mind games”
Listen to “Mind Games” by BANKS HERE
A year ago, I was replaying that 30 second part of the song over and over and over until I was done crying in my car, then pretending it was all good to him, and whoever else I had to face.
And I cried yesterday, not out of heartache. But the memory of how lost I was, how deeply those words resonated with me back then because I had drifted so far from myself and my true purpose. It was my own form of resistance. (If you’ve read The War of Art” you know what I mean, and it was the breaking point I needed. I’ve never done drugs, I don’t like alcohol, I’m pretty careful with money, my only real addiction has always been that quest for true love, so that was the habit I most needed to break. And I’m proud to see that I have. That I came out of that not hating love or being unable to trust, but realizing why I had to put me first, why I had to be patient and not settle.
It was time. There was no more “one day” or “it would be nice if”. Time to focus on my goals. Time to stop making excuses and do all the things I was destined to do. Because the next time around I didn’t want to be caught up during the vulnerable state of figuring things out, I wanted to already know who I was and where I wanted to go so I can better determine if someone was on my path, or I was taking a different route to make them fit.
Getting comfortable with that has allowed me to not look at my past with animosity but to instead own EVERY little thing that makes up the woman I am now, and will be. Comfortable enough to keep being me unapologetically regardless of the size of my audience, or who I may intimidate.
Right now is literally everything I’ve prayed for.
I used to ask God to amplify my faith. Remind me to pray daily. I would pray once in a while. When I went to church, and then a little while after, and soon forget until something negative happened. Now, I am in touch with myself so much I found God within me. He lives in me, and in doing what I was destined to do I help others find themselves, and thats what its all about. Seeking to help others and communicate things the way I can say them, and only me. Its a powerful realization and knowing it comes from a pure place is everything.
I create because I have to. It’s always lived in me, and letting it out is the only way that I feel free. Im fortunate that I get to borrow this body and use it in this way and I say thank you by sharing it with you all.
This year is all about going at it 1000 percent. Doing the most I can so that regardless of how long I am on this earth I am making a positive impact.
I talk to myself differently now. I like her. I’ve always liked her but for some reason I didn’t tell her that much. And I wanted approval.
Now I only need my own.
If there’s one thing I want you to take from this it is FIND YOUR PURPOSE. Chase your calling. I want you to want to find yourself. That doesn’t mean you’ll wake up knowing who you are immediately, but by letting the universe know that that is what you’re longing for and you’re ready, you’ll get the lessons necessary to ignite that growth and realization.
Start today. I don’t care how old you are, it is never too late.
And also, be useful. Rather than striving to be seen and heard, have something to give, something pure you believe in. You will go much farther if you operate from a place of giving whether its giving those less fortunate a platform to share their experiences, teaching others skills you possess, advice, just give!
Oh yea, also ask lol. The old saying: ask and you shall receive, is real. If it is wisdom you seek, or happiness, love, financial stability ask for it from the Universe and give her your thanks by going out and doing what it will take to get that, watch how quickly you get “lucky”
Stay tuned for some pretty amazing ladies I’ll be sharing with you daily.