More and more we are finding allies in our own kind. But is that womankind or only womankind that looks like you and values what you value?
How do you feel about sex workers?
Today we meet the woman behind FreakJawn. She drives me insane, but she’s also taught me a lot. She’s one of the most business savvy people I know, but her business is nonconventional.
This interview runs deep for me. It is so important when seeking to represent a group or a cause, to be inclusive of those that don’t always look or live like you. It is all to easy to disregard or shun lifestyles that we don’t understand, to label others as sub human because they don’t look like we do or worship the God we do, or speak our language.
I had to interview FreakJawn because I feel like this is where I get the most real with myself. Where I check my own bias and privilege. If we say women deserve equality do we mean women like us? Or all women? Or is there an asterisks and disclaimer?
I remember growing up I held on to my virginity so fiercely and I believed it made me special. The reasons behind my reservations had nothing to do with men yet I would see the way their eyes would beam when they learned I was a virgin or the comments they’d make in comparison to other women. It was meant to make me feel superior but it made me cringe. I didn’t feel my virginity was connected to how smart I was or talented or how generous I was or anything. It was just the status of my sex life. The same goes for being mixed or wearing makeup. It always seemed to me like men find ways to uplift us by degrading us.
If its hard for anyone to understand where the woman behind FreakJawn comes from, it should be me and that is why I’ve done what I can to try and understand her more than anything. So through knowing her I am able to grow as a “feminist” and seek representation for all women, and through me, I keep her from screenshooting every argument she has with people that don’t understand her. 🙂
What industry are you in currently?
Sex work (I am a stripper, an escort, and a cam girl)
Event curator (I throw parties, seminars, and teach Pole classes)
Is your industry one usually dominated by women? How did you fight stigmas?
Yes and No. About 80% of sex workers are female.
With event curators I would say 30% are female.
I fought stigmas by reaching out to and working with various mentors.
What are you most proud of at the moment?
I am really proud to have taught my very own pole class and throw a FEMALE ONLY event. They where both amazing safe spaces with good energy
How big a role has your culture and gender played in your journey?
As a mixed race American, I would say my culture has helped me be able to connect with various people of all languages and backgrounds.
As a female, I think people are really shocked how assertive I am and how I make the rules as I go. I have been in meetings where I had to fight to have my voice heard because I was the only female. I have also had to deal with the “all boys culture” of various co working spaces in Miami, New York, and Philly
Any major life events in the last 6 months you’re working through? (Quit a job? Changed cities? Breakup? Marriage? Etc. positive or negative )
Back in August, I packed my bags and moved BACK to Philly. Leaving Miami after working, living, and establishing relationships was with mixed feelings. I needed a break from the party lifestyle but also had to end a personal 8 month relationship/friendship. This cause major depression .
These past few months have been nothing but love with building my brand in Philly. I have had to deal with co working space and culture and even came back to Miami to recharge. Another big change is I have entered the world of web cam. That has been an interesting experience and I have learned so much about the business side of sex work.
What is your version of success? When will you say you’ve “made it”?
Success for me is when I can help other females reach their FULL potential. Success for me is healing and going thru therapy and providing therapy for others. Success for me is when Black Americans have more voices and faces in public office
What’s one thing you’ve realized with age/time in the industry? (and want other women to realize as well)
Sex work is REAL work. Sex work ISNT the-same as sex trafficking. Sex workers should not be and are on our way to NOT be considered outcast of society.
I think EVERY female who is having sex, who uses her feminine powers engages in some form of sex work. I think this them vs. us women have us is slowly being torn down due t education
Love or success? Should you have to choose?
I feel like success is very complicated feeling and achievement so I know I might ruffle feathers by saying love. Love is very powerful and keeps you going. The love I speak of is various with family, friends, and romantic.
Is sex work a means to an end ? Like at a certain point of success do you think you’ll stop sex work? Or will it always be profitable to you
I don’t know. I just cried my eyes out about sex work.
It consumes my life.
Also you’ve talked about it affecting your mental health in your blogs. So is it in your best interest and (female sex workers that look to you for guidance) to teach them how to “play the game” or how to get out of it?
Play the game and get out.
Also what has your experience with female driven movements and inclusivity been like ?
I’m not included. I engage in a taboo topic. I intimidate women. I have close proximity to patriarchy and misogyny. I have to learn to fight it. My life and my livelihood depends on it.
Women want to be me until they see what it takes. Women like me until they realize I am powerful. Women think they are better than me because they don’t have the stomach to deal with REAL mental, emotional, and physical violence
Women rather mentally fight me and others like me than be open minded. They feel sex work is beneath them when in fact we all engage in sex work directly and indirectly.
Any new endeavors you’d like to promote?
My team and I reallyexcited to be speaking and educating collegestudents aboutsex work at University of Pennsylvania (an Ivy League school) and Iwill be comingbackto Miami to support the SlutWalk at Florida International University
Me and my team are alsoexcited to be bringingFreakJawn Inc toTHE BIG APPLE. I am really excited towork with more sex workers creatively and financially and bringback the pole classes.
Lastofall, Iam workingon a very personal book which shouldbe dropping this month